Everyone has experienced the joy of reading about exciting research.
Unfortunately, in many cases, such findings can be buried in obscure language.
Writing that is clear and simple enables researchers to share their interesting
findings with a wide audience; this is particularly relevant in a highly
interdisciplinary field such as neuroscience.
In previous articles, we reviewed suggestions
for effective writing (see past editions of the SFN Newsletter). To extend
the principles of clear writing in science, here are a few editing techniques
to help researchers write concise and effective manuscripts.
Tips for Revising Sentences
Overuse of the passive voice is a common problem in
writing. Although the passive has its placefor example,
in the Methods sectionin many instances it makes the manuscript
dull by failing to identify the authors role in the research. Other
weak writing practices are the overuse of prepositional phrases, the verb
to be, nominalizations, and noun strings. Using too many prepositional
phrases causes information overload that can confuse readers. Overuse
of the weak linking verb to be creates unnecessarily long
and imprecise sentences. Sentences with many nominalizations (noun forms
of verbs) result in texts that are difficult to understand. Energize your
text by transforming the noun forms of verbs back into verbs and avoid
noun strings (nouns modifying nouns), which result in too much compressed
information that is confusing to readers. Consider, too, where to put
new and important information. Generally, readers look for new information
at the end of sentences, the end of paragraphs, and the end of abstracts.
Help the reader locate your most important point by placing it in these
stress positions.
Examples of Principles at Work
1. Use direct, active-voice sentences.
Original: Only at synaptic sites the co-localization of GLu1 and
NR1 with the PSD-95 complex was observed.
Revised: We observed that GLu1 and NR1 co-localize with the PSD-95
complex only at synaptic sites.
2. Limit prepositional phrases.
Original: This growth factor is important to the survival of the
motoneurons in the spinal cord but not in the cranial nucleus in the brainstem.
Revised: This growth factor helps motoneurons survive
in the spinal cord but not in the cranial nucleus.
3. Limit use of the verb to be.
Original: This mechanism is an important factor in our understanding
of cytomegaloviral infections in the brain.
Revised: This mechanism will help us understand how cytomegaloviruses
infect the brain.
4. Avoid noun forms of verbs (nominalizations).
Original: Significant ipsilateral cortical activation was seen
with stimulation in previous PET studies.
Revised: Previous PET studies show that stimuli activate
the ipsilateral cortex.
5. Limit noun strings (nouns modifying nouns).
Original: Community information feedback mechanisms are important
if governments want scientists to explain how they spend taxpayers
money.
Revised: Governments should create effective mechanisms for scientists
to explain how they spend taxpayers money.
6. Put new and important information toward
the end of sentences.
Original: Whereas mutating four CREs in the promoter did not block
up-regulation, site-directed mutagenesis of all five CREs in the promoter
blocked this up-regulation almost
completely.
Revised: Site-directed mutagenesis of all five CREs in the promoter
blocked this up-regulation almost completely, whereas mutating four of
them had no effect.